<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Story That God Damned: A Collection of Poetry by ZaniePhoenix</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402883">The Story That God Damned: A Collection of Poetry</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaniePhoenix/pseuds/ZaniePhoenix'>ZaniePhoenix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom, Original Work, Poetry - Fandom, Writing - Fandom, poem - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autumn, INSPIRATIONAL, Implied/Referenced Abuse, LGBTQ Themes, My name is Em, Other, Poetry, Rants, Real Life, my mind hates me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:20:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaniePhoenix/pseuds/ZaniePhoenix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My rants, views, and just about everything. Both happy and sad and serious writtings.<br/>--------------<br/>Updates often<br/>--------------<br/>DO NOT COPY TO ANOTHER SITE!!!!!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Autumn Leaves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the autumn leaves start to fall<br/>
And the wind has that crisp bite to it.<br/>
That’s when I know everything<br/>
is about to become serene.</p><p>The trees turn from an emerald field<br/>
Into a landscape of burning, fiery colours.<br/>
The perfect time to bundle up in a sweater<br/>
With a hot cup of cocoa or tea<br/>
And just go and enjoy<br/>
What Mother Nature has gifted us.</p><p>As the wind gently passes over,<br/>
The pumpkins are ripe and ready.<br/>
We carve, we bake, we walk, we lounge.</p><p>Midday drives down country lanes<br/>
That turn into late-night movie sessions.<br/>
Walking down a leaf-strewn veil carpet,<br/>
Hearing the crunch and rustle beneath my feet.<br/>
Listening to those soothing tunes that just say<br/>
“Autumn is here.”</p><p> </p><p>-Thursday, 2020, 15th October</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Black</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Prompt: Personify your favorite colour.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My favorite colour is Black.</p><p>Black is a tall yet plus-sized woman.			<br/>She wears a kind, motherly smile almost always.<br/>She is soft edges rather than sharp spikes.</p><p>She holds me close on cold days<br/>In order to keep me warm.<br/>She is the meaning of night<br/>In mine own eyes.<br/>She holds the stars to shine a light of hope<br/>For those who need it most.</p><p>Black is the dark that encompasses everything,<br/>But not to hide nor hinder.<br/>She is a protector.</p><p>She has held my hand, guiding me,<br/>Since I was in Preschool.<br/>She is my favorite.<br/>Her name is Black.</p><p> </p><p>-Wednesday, 2020, 14th October</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. What Ego?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What ego?<br/>The one where people say they are the best at the game?<br/>The one where they claim to be the best dancer or singer and should earn fame?<br/>Well, here’s mine:</p><p>I am the best.<br/>The best at keeping quiet<br/>When all everyone wants is for me to be silent.<br/>I hide my emotions in a locked box<br/>And being who the world wants me to be.</p><p>I am the best.<br/>The best at pulling people out of the hole<br/>As I’m diving right on in.<br/>The best at taking their darkness<br/>And giving them my light.<br/>Until I’m consumed in the shadow<br/>And never brought to their height.</p><p>I am the best.<br/>The best at making people think I’m okay<br/>When really I just want to fly away.<br/>The best at understanding the situation<br/>When really I’ve been to that same location.</p><p>I am the best.<br/>Wait, no I’m not.<br/>I don’t have a big ego to rant on about <br/>because I’m not some perfect robot.<br/>I just do what I do<br/>And watch the day go through.<br/>I observe everyone doing what they are good at<br/>Waiting for my turn up to bat.<br/>But what can I show?<br/>That the world wants to know?<br/>What ego are we talking about here?<br/>The one that’s for show?</p><p>- Thursday, 2019, 21st March</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. They Say</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world is perfect<br/>They say.<br/>Enjoy life and be yourself<br/>They say.<br/>Be happy and follow your dreams<br/>They say.</p><p>They tell us that we live<br/>In a perfect world.<br/>Yet wars happen.<br/>Yet climate change will be irreversible<br/>By 2045.<br/>Yet people turn a blind eye to<br/>Abuse<br/>And mental health<br/>Because it’s “not their problem.”</p><p>They tell us to enjoy our life<br/>And to be our self.<br/>Yet people are overlooked and killed<br/>Because of their sexuality and beliefs.<br/>Yet we are taught.<br/>Taught to hide our true selves<br/>In order to “fit in”<br/>And to not be a disappointment.</p><p>They tell us to be happy<br/>And to follow our dreams,<br/>Yet then we are told not to dream<br/>Or that we would never accomplish that dream.<br/>We are told to be happy.<br/>Yet are mocked and belittled<br/>For what we are happy about.<br/>Thus dropping us into a vat of acid<br/>And coming out scathed<br/>By depression, anxiety, PTSD…<br/>The list goes on <br/>And on<br/>And on.</p><p>Society.<br/>Society is a harsh<br/>And unforgivable sea,<br/>Whose waves destroy<br/>Yet whose beauty deceives others.</p><p>They say that humanity will thrive?<br/>I'm sorry,<br/>But<br/>I just don’t believe that.</p><p>- Friday, 2020, 31st January</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Quiet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Implied Panic Attack</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over<br/>And over<br/>And over again.<br/>It’s too loud<br/>Too bright<br/>Too crowded<br/>Too, too much!</p><p>Hyperventilating,<br/>Tears racing.<br/>Scratch, pick, and bite<br/>At my own skin.<br/>Blood and bruises.</p><p>Other times I<br/>Cover my ears<br/>And my face.<br/>I pull my hair feeling<br/>Embarrassed,<br/>Overwhelmed,<br/>Distraught.<br/>The need to scream<br/>Scratching at my throat.</p><p>This is me<br/>During a panic attack.<br/>I crumble<br/>And I break.<br/>Then,<br/>When I’m better,<br/>I am quiet.</p><p>- Friday, 2020, 31st January</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Do You Wonder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mentions Homelessness</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Do you ever wonder<br/>Wonder where the people<br/>In the rushing traffic are going?<br/>Or the people walking<br/>Down the street?<br/>Or in a store?</p><p>What about the men, women, and children<br/>Who are left on the street.<br/>Suffering.<br/>Do you wonder how they got there?<br/>Or do you just assume<br/>that they are drunks and druggies?</p><p>Do you ever wonder what it would be like<br/>if you and one of them switched places?<br/>You could have been evicted because you couldn’t pay rent<br/>Because you have a family<br/>Who needs food<br/>But now,<br/>Now you have to protect them<br/>From the rain,<br/>Cold,<br/>And other dangers.</p><p>Do you wonder<br/>What it’s like to be someone else?<br/>Or do you just live in a delusion?</p><p>- Monday, 2020, 3rd February</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Stones as Stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Implied Abuse, Suicide, Mental Illness, Rape, etc.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gen Z is<br/>
Loud, obnoxious, and phone-obsessed.<br/>
Not caring at all about others,<br/>
Especially the older generations.<br/>
They are mean-hearted and destructive.</p><p>They fake emotions and mental illness.<br/>
They lie and they steal.<br/>
Gen Z just outright doesn’t know what respect is.<br/>
They are too young to understand<br/>
Real-world problems.<br/>
They throw stones at the stars<br/>
Expecting them to stick.<br/>
What do you have to say to that?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well,<br/>
Have you ever thought that we, as Gen Z,<br/>
Are loud and talkative because we are filling the deafening quiet<br/>
That haunts us and we just want to light the room.</p><p>The statement of us being phone-obsessed<br/>
Isn’t completely wrong,<br/>
But the thing is, some people need their phone.<br/>
People with anxiety disorders use music as a grounding<br/>
And blocking mechenism.</p><p>We care, just in a different way.<br/>
We care for our world, and for the people we trust<br/>
But we take no bullshit from the people who tear us down.</p><p>You say that we are mean-hearted.<br/>
Why do you think that?<br/>
Is it because we stand up for what we believe in<br/>
Or how you perceive one individual from Gen Z?<br/>
We care more about equality and helping others<br/>
Then of ourselves.</p><p>You say that we are destructive<br/>
When all we want is a clean planet.<br/>
We want to save the Amazon<br/>
and stop climate change as well as save the ocean<br/>
and other endangered animals.</p><p>You claim that we fake mental illness<br/>
When the average Gen Z teen<br/>
Has the same mental health levels as psychiatric patients from the 50s.<br/>
You claim this when teen depression rates increased<br/>
By 59% from 2007 to 2017.<br/>
Imagine what it’s like now.<br/>
91% of Gen Z claims to have experienced<br/>
Some sort of mental illness or episode.<br/>
So don’t say that we fake emotions and mental illness.<br/>
At least we are more likely to report it<br/>
Because it’s not looked down upon as harshly anymore.</p><p>I can say this though,<br/>
We do lie sometimes,<br/>
But have you ever experienced mental and emotional abuse?<br/>
To where you have to lie in order for it to stop?</p><p>The only thing we are guilty of stealing<br/>
Is our right to freedom, equality, and safety.<br/>
Yet we are punished when we protest this.<br/>
We protest for safety when this year alone, 2020,<br/>
There have been 51 mass shootings.<br/>
People and teens who identify as LGBT+<br/>
Are told that they are a disgrace<br/>
and they are having their rights stripped from them.<br/>
Yes, we do steal,<br/>
But only for what’s right<br/>
And what the older generations are afraid of.</p><p>Gen Z does know what respect is,<br/>
But we ourselves aren’t being respected.<br/>
Times are changing and previous generations<br/>
Just can’t fathom that fact.</p><p>You say that we are too young to understand real-world problems<br/>
When young kids and teens are struggling.<br/>
Struggling with their gender and sexuality<br/>
Because the world that should love and respect them<br/>
Break them and kill them.<br/>
We understand the need to save our Earth<br/>
Since by 2045 climate change will be irreversible<br/>
And how our main oxygen producer, the Amazon,<br/>
Is 20% gone due to deforestation.<br/>
We understand that women are blamed<br/>
When they are sexually assaulted based on their outfit.<br/>
We understand all of this!<br/>
We throw stones at the stars<br/>
To see if they are still there in our time of need<br/>
When we need a grounding, stable light,<br/>
Because clearly, we don’t get that<br/>
From the older people who “care” about us.</p><p>- Monday, 2020, 11th January</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Year of Being Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As of 2018,<br/>There are 7.594 billion people in the world;<br/>And of that 7.5 billion, <br/>over 205 thousand people have died worldwide due to the ongoing pandemic.</p><p>I say this not to strike fear,<br/>But to ignite hope within.<br/>Tragedies happen;<br/>People get hurt or die;<br/>And you suffer.</p><p>Yet during these trying times<br/>Humanity is known to band together.<br/>Whether physically or mentally.</p><p>We band together to help provide.<br/>To provide healthcare to those suffering,<br/>To give food to those who need it most.</p><p>During this time<br/>Families grow closer,<br/>They spend quality time with each other.<br/>Neighbors put aside differences and act civil.<br/>Kids enjoy the outdoors<br/>Instead of being trapped inside.</p><p>During this time<br/>Humanity embraces its creativity.<br/>We make flower crowns<br/>And sell art.<br/>We build, and sculpt, and write.<br/>We draw, we paint, we dream.</p><p>This is the time to appreciate what we have right now.<br/>It is not the time to wallow,<br/>Or to think of the “What If”s.<br/>It is the time to build each other up and to help.</p><p> </p><p>Cheer on health staff and essential workers,<br/>Who are risking their lives to help others.<br/>Help by staying home,<br/>Or if you do go outside,<br/>Help clean up the Earth with gloves and a trash bag.</p><p>Now is the time to make a difference.<br/>To help and give back.</p><p>- Sunday, 2020, 26th April</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Have You...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Have you ever felt like you have lived a year in a day?<br/>Where it drags on<br/>And you wish for something new?<br/>Wishing for a change,<br/>Whether it be someone or something new<br/>Or even just wishing to sleep and drift into the abyss.</p><p>Have you ever felt the ungodly urge to scream?<br/>To just scream until you can’t anymore?<br/>To at least feel something besides the crumbling of your own self.<br/>To force your mind to be blank<br/>And your face shows no emotion.<br/>To just be hollow for a bit.</p><p>Have you ever just cried to release?<br/>To release the anger, sadness, stress.<br/>Cried just so you can prove that you aren’t a ceramic doll<br/>ready to be dropped onto the cold tile?</p><p>Have you ever felt so lost, even with a guide?<br/>Lost with the urge to run away or cower back into the shadows.<br/>All just so you don’t feel alone even if you are in a crowd,<br/>Because not all friends are friends.</p><p>Have you ever just locked it all inside?<br/>To hide the truth beneath your ribcage,<br/>Which is fracturing with all the weight.<br/>To cover up the pain and hurt with a simple smile<br/>Until it becomes too much and you just<br/>Erupt.</p><p>Because I have.<br/>I have felt all this and more.<br/>To be honest,<br/>I still feel this.</p><p>- Friday, 2020, 09 October</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Jack-o-Lanterns & Dry Leaves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>September, October, November.				<br/>Autumn.<br/>With spice lattes and colourful treats.<br/>With Jack-o-lanterns and dry leaves.</p><p>The scent of candles<br/>And pies baking.<br/>Of homemade apple cider<br/>And antique books.</p><p>The sound of crunching, rustling leaves,<br/>And of children’s laughter<br/>Wafting through the breeze.</p><p>A time for beanie hats and flannels,<br/>A time for sweaters and knitted scarves,<br/>To which it is not too hot<br/>But still has that brush-of-a-hand chill to it.</p><p>Children, and even some teens, <br/>playing in the fallen leaves.<br/>Jumping into the piles made <br/>and spreading them out again.<br/>Rushing through the wind-blown leaf carpet<br/>Just for the resonating sound and feeling.</p><p>A time when everything<br/>Has a deep-rooted happiness.<br/>And is serene.</p><p>- Tuesday, 2020, 20 October</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Samhain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On this eve<br/>The Gods have blessed us.<br/>For a Full Blue Moon is present<br/>On this Samhain day.<br/>She last arose<br/>Over 70 years ago.</p><p>Tonight is a special time for<br/>rituals and spells will be cast.<br/>Tonight opens the veil<br/>And communication will be strong.</p><p>Samhain<br/>The time for feasting<br/>and of remembering.<br/>A time not to fear death<br/>But to embrace it.</p><p>We will walk through the October chill<br/>And feel the resulting energy<br/>Of spirits coming home.</p><p>- Friday, 2020, 30th October</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Story That God Damned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world is burning,<br/>And people say that our story<br/>Is the one that God damned.<br/>That we are the cause<br/>Of the early destruction of humanity.</p><p>A generation labeled<br/>As evil incarnate.<br/>A generation<br/>Of revolutionaries.</p><p>We ourselves<br/>Are a movement.<br/>A wave of change <br/>and righteousness.</p><p>We are the generation<br/>That God damned.<br/>We were given the mindset<br/>Of idiocy and equality.<br/>A generation that was damned<br/>With pain and suffering.<br/>Of political oppression<br/>And lack of representation.</p><p>A generation to which<br/>Lost their childhood<br/>Because they had to grow up<br/>Before they even finished Elementary.</p><p>We are a generation<br/>That lacks the basic skills of survival.<br/>Yet will bitch slap you <br/>if you get our pronouns wrong.<br/>Yet will willingly debate and fight<br/>Political issues with more evidence<br/>Then what the politicians have.</p><p>Our story was placed in a shredder<br/>And then taped back together<br/>Lazily.</p><p>With our fractured<br/>And mutilated bodies<br/>We rise up again and again.<br/>We will march through <br/>The rain of bullets<br/>And the fog of teargas.</p><p>So if you want a revolution<br/>Then we’re ready.<br/>For we are a generation<br/>Whose story God damned,<br/>And we aren’t afraid of Death.<br/>Death is afraid of us.</p><p>- Wednesday, 2020, 4th November</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Front Row</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Depending where you are<br/>And when a situation occurs,<br/>The front row can be either<br/>A dreamland<br/>Or a death sentence.</p><p>Sometimes, though,<br/>That front row is you.<br/>Your life.</p><p>Where you are an open book <br/>And everyone <br/>can see what you are hiding.<br/>Your emotions<br/>On full display.</p><p>The front row.<br/>The row where <br/>Everyone wants or doesn’t want<br/>To be.</p><p>- 2020, 9th November, Monday</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Witch Child</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>O witch child<br/>Young and fierce.<br/>What secrets and knowledge<br/>Do you hide?</p><p>The music of the trees<br/>And the singing<br/>Of the flowers<br/>Follow in your wake.</p><p>O witch child<br/>Gentle and confident.<br/>What spells<br/>Does thou cast?</p><p>Are they ones of Healing?<br/>Or ones of Protection?<br/>Do they help you?<br/>Or are they for others?</p><p>O witch child,<br/>I respect you and your craft.<br/>I will not hede nor harm thee.<br/>For you yourself<br/>Are like the fae.<br/>You accept kindness<br/>But if wronged<br/>You make hell.</p><p>O witch child<br/>Protector of the Earth<br/>We thank you.</p><p>- Monday, 9th November, 2020</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. [Untitled]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Empty glass jar<br/>
Filled with the air<br/>
of the past.</p><p>Broken vase<br/>
Holding the anger<br/>
That broke it.</p><p>Lonely swing<br/>
Drifting back and forth<br/>
With the air and memory<br/>
Of long-forgotten children.</p><p>Every story<br/>
left on the backburner<br/>
Might have had a title.<br/>
That was until<br/>
they were forgotten.<br/>
Now their stories are<br/>
Untitled. </p><p>But just because<br/>
They are untitled right now,<br/>
Does not mean that<br/>
That will stay the case.<br/>
Everything that is forgotten<br/>
Can be found again.</p><p>- Tuesday, 10th November, 2020</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>